Being Different

I've been reading a lot of stories on Ulcerative Colitis, and noticed there are rarely any asians with this disease. So I looked at the statistics in my birth country. There are approx 7-10 people in 100,000 people with ulcerative colitis in china. That's about 1/10th of the rate of people in european countries with colitis. So did coming to north america increase my chances somehow?

On looking up more statistics, more than 12 million age 40 and older in the US have a hyperopia > +3 diopters. That's approximately 4% of the american population. I imagine the statistics to be much lower for someone younger and with a + 10 diopters. Seems like I'm on the wrong side of statistics.

I knew I was different from my friends at a young age. With severe hyperopia it was a visual difference. Colitis now would be an internal difference. I did not have a feeling of not belonging growing up until my teenage years. I wasn't bullied in school, I had friends, I didn't feel any different.
I perhaps defined one of my identities as being different. I could empathize with outcasts but I struggled not to become an outcast. I defined myself as curious and adaptive because those were skills I needed in order to adjust to the different schools, different cities, different beds at various stages of my life. In order to feed my self confidence, I convinced myself I was special. I couldn't associate myself with just normal, because I wanted to be special, surround myself with special people and ironically prove to others I was not so different from them. It was all about the the anything you can do I can do better attitude then. I forgot that it was okay to be myself and not compare my weaknesses with others strengths. I didn't learn to build relationships because making situational friends came naturally. I identified with being different but neglected the part of me that wanted to belong.

My solution to problems involves only myself. I never learned to seek other more experienced people for advice (This did not apply to work). This is what we call independence. But being able to find support in your friends and family is just as valuable. Knowing who is there for you and who you can trust is definitely a challenge.