Am I still in denial?
Maybe it's the fact it's a life long disease.
Maybe it's the fact there is no known cause for colitis.
Maybe it's the fact the only "cure" is the removal of your entire colon.
Maybe it's the probability of developing colorectal cancer after having colitis for 10 yrs is 2%.
Maybe it's that risk of cancer continues to rise and is about 30% after 30 yrs.
Maybe it's the chance I will pass this on to my children.
Maybe this is my wake up call that I need a change.
To be a little more resilient.
To be a little kinder towards myself.
Life is too short to waste it.
I have since found, this type of reaction is common in patients when first diagnosed. There are 5 stages that terminally ill persons may go through upon learning of their disease as described in Elisabeth Kuhbler-Ross' book On Death and Dying. The stages are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
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